By Doug Gross
CNN
(CNN) — It took about 110 years and some delicate surgery on his most private parts, but Henry — a lizard-like creature from New Zealand — is now a dad.
Henry, a tuatara who, as far as curators at Southland Museum in New Zealand know, had never mated before, hooked up with Mildred, a younger woman of about 80, in March.
In July she laid 11 healthy eggs and, this week, all 11 of them hatched — the last one on Wednesday.
After losing billions, taking billions from taxpayers and avoiding disaster only by selling itself to Bank of America, Merrill Lynch was still ready to give a multimillion-dollar “performance” bonus to its chief executive, John Thain. It refrained only after a storm of protest that reached from Main Street to Capitol Hill.
As it turns out, the outrage was not enough to stop the flow of money to other executives. According to a report in The Financial Times on Thursday, Merrill granted $3 billion to $4 billion in bonuses in December — part of a total compensation budget of $15 billion for the year that was just slightly less than that of 2007.
Full story:IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman, KS.
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, and “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi
Jesu, joy of man's desiring,
Holy Wisdom, Love most bright;
Drawn by Thee, our souls, aspiring,
Soar to uncreated light.
Word of God, our flesh that fashion'd,
With the fire of life impassion'd,
Striving still to truth unknown,
Soaring, dying, round Thy throne.
Literal German Translation:
Jesus remains my joy,
My heart's consolation and essence.
Jesus defends all sufferers.
He is my life force,
The desire of my eyes and my sun,
My soul's treasure and delight.
Therefore I will never leave Jesus
from my heart nor face
January -- was mostly about the primaries for me. I was disliking Obama and preferring Edwards (oops!) or Dodd (oops again!). And I was looking for a way to be tolerant towards the people I disagree with. This battle with "tolerance" wasn't resolved until October or so.
Mexican Riviera. And that's where I fell in love with Cabo San Lucas. It's also the month I first encountered the Celtic poet John O'Donohue and ranted and raved about immigration. We also moved into our new church building at the beginning of February and have the first of at least 3 "consecration" services.
March -- March is the month where I first started really listening to This American Life regularly, and it became my favorite radio show. Ginger got sick and was in the hospital for 2 days with a life-threatening disease. Thankfully she made it through and hasn't really been sick since. Dean quit his job at the law office and becomes the church secretary, which drastically cuts his commute at a time when gas prices are through the roof. Everybody is happy.
May -- was the month that I started working as the church's Worship Chairman. And all my extra time went away. It's also the month that I really started getting really bad allergies. This year was by far the worst year for my allergies. I also deliver a 4-week class at our house on spiritual literacy that takes a lot of time to prepare, and is rather poorly attended. I get a bit bummed out about that. Dean and I attend the Kansas Sampler Festival in Concordia. It's an okay experience.
July -- was the month I started taking pottery classes at the Lawrence Arts Center. It was a ton of fun! I didn't get as many things made as I had originally hoped (the instructor makes things look so easy), but it was still a great experience. I took another pottery class in the fall, but had to stop going because it didn't really fit into my schedule any more. I also preached a sermon at church in July called Friendship With God as a way to introduce people to the idea of spiritual direction. CIGNA completes the purchase of Great-West Healthcare and I become a CIGNA employee.
August -- this is the month we are introduced to Sarah Palin. Yikes! And I begin my fondness of Legos. Dean and I and Teri and Ellen have a long weekend at the Omaha Zoo and botanical garden. Our 3rd or 4th trip there. Still my favorite zoo.
I begin my pre-practicum for Souljourners and begin doing real Spiritual Direction. Our church begins The Five Practices of Fruitful Congregations -- a 5-week series that completely sucks up every moment of my time to prepare and execute. I hated it. Every moment of it. We also have the last of our consecration services. Dean and I are totally stressed out as we feel we are spending every moment either at church or preparing for something at church. We need a break so bad. This is probably my least-favorite month of the year.
October -- work gets a bit stressful as we try to convert systems from Great-West to CIGNA, retire some systems, and in general work through what the plan is. Dean and I celebrate our 2nd anniversary.
SeaWorld, San Diego Zoo, San Juan Capistrano Mission, Disney Land, and Universal Studios. It's a ton of fun and I get to see my brother and my 2 neices (whom I have not seen in 10+ years). We celebrate both our birthdays. Obama gets elected and I no longer have to buy one-way tickets to Canada. The church catches fire and we have to go back to worshipping at Warren-McElwain Chapel. Despite the fire, this is probably my favorite month of the year.
December -- work has lots of highs and lows as people scramble to get work done by the end of the year, and also go on vacation. I preach at church again on the 28th. I surprise Dean with an HDTV for Christmas. It goes over well.
