I'm Not Psychic, and No I Won't Do Your Job For You

I am the victim of indirect communication all the time from people who are too scared to take responsibility for things that they are responsible for. I had it happen to me again twice today. Most of you know that I'm a web programmer for our company--I do all the technical work, but I don't decide on the "content"--that's always somebody else's job. Here is how one email chain went today. The names have been changed to protect the idiotic.

Suzy: My supervisor Mindy wants me to get our website updated. Can you help me with that?
Me: Sure. If you tell me how you want it updated, I'll do the programming.
Suzy: I don't know what Mindy wanted to update. Can you help?
Me: No, I'm not psychic either.*


Here is how another one went.


Jan: We have a spreadsheet linked on the web that isn't displaying right. Can you help?
Me: It looks to me like your margins are set wrong. If you send me an updated spreadsheet, I'll post the new one to the website.
Jan: I was told that I shouldn't make any changes because it might make it look worse. Does that make any sense?
Me: No, that doesn't make any sense. If you keep backup copies of the spreadsheet, why would you care if it turns out worse? You could just start over until you get it the way you like.
Jan: Thanks! But why would somebody tell me not to make any changes?
Me: I don't know. Maybe you should ask them.


Now seriously, this happens to me ALL. The. Time. Boss-A gives some ambiguous, unclear assignment to Staff Member-B who then asks ME to find out what Boss-A meant instead of finding out for him- or herself.

* = Okay, that's just how I WANTED to respond. What I really said was, "No, maybe you should ask Mindy."